A fraternal scientist

                                            

"People skills are often described as (a) understanding ourselves and moderating our responses, (b) talking effectively and empathizing accurately, (c) building relationships of trust, respect, and productive interactions.”

-Portland Business Journal.

 I saw him cry. I could have been surprised but it was expected, the death of an aunt is something difficult to overcome. Even more if the relationship between her and the three of us, Eric, Rafael, and I, resembled one of mother to sons rather than aunt to nephews. However, this was something rare as expressing his feelings and thoughts can be a difficult task for him. He is the type of person that does not smile in pictures, a person for whom expressing anger is natural, and making friendships is a bit difficult. As his brother, I know him better than anyone else ;and as an amateur social scientist, I could say I know why he has such difficulties with social interactions.

Anyone who has met Rafa knows how brilliant and knowledgeable he is. Anyone can notice his passion for natural sciences and mathematics; however, most people only see him from the outside. While most people call him weird and strange, I call him unique and atypical. Most people label him a nerd; I consider him young scientist and an intellectual. When it comes to personality most call him grumpy and unfriendly; but to me he is sensible to annoying things  … or beings, along with having limited People Skills.

One of the things people never get to know about him is his kindness and  bigheartedness. After reading his essay “Greetings, My name is Rafael Viluce,” the reader can notice some solitude and distance, along with a strong sense of goodwill and kindness. Usually, people do not get to know him nor have the opportunity to read his essay. This includes members of his graduating class. Due to his feeble People Skills, Rafa became isolated from his class.Still due to a handful of his peers, friends that served as bridges, kept somewhat in contact with the rest. However, Senior Year opened his eyes and those of rest of his prom. Rafa was partying, having a good-time not only with books but with music, drinks, and above all people.

Three things will never return: the arrow shot, the word said and the lost opportunity. Sadly, this class they realized what they had missed on too late. Only those with the highest People Skills managed to bring out the best in Rafa. People ought to learn two things from these individuals, especially at the beginnings of school, college, and work. Never let yourself be deceived by first impressions; patiently discover the true nature of your peers. One may never know what treasures you can find. If not, like what happened to most of his class, it can be late to enjoy each other's company to the fullest.

As for me, there it will never be too late as he is my brother; with whom I cherish in many moments. Let it be crashing in his bed just to bother him, running away from furious brother with a deadly look on his face or engaging in a deep and endless philosophical debate. Let me not forget to mention my deep admiration for his high mental capacity, good manners, and kindness. In addition, he is my brother; as such, I love him regardless of his People Skills.

Cogito ergo sum

Cogito ergo sum – René Descartes

Watch your thoughts, for they usually become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny. - Frank Outlaw

These words do not concern identity, yet I like to see them in this light. "I think therefore I am" in other words, I can be whomever I want to be.  This can come handy in a variety of situations but at the same time, it is a burden.

I can recall my two middle-school year as the first one as hell and the other as purgatory. Seventh grade was hell, a surprise to me as I had been waiting for that year for so long.  During the whole year, I was a dedicated student in some classes. In others, I was a shrewd and mischievous troublemaker. My attention devoted to have laugh in my classes, was not a problem. Never did I get a failing grade, as I am lucky, blessed with intelligence by the almighty. Also in no way did I notice this bipolar behavior. My attitudes were dynamic as my thoughts, filling the year of stress.

After a year of tensions, I finally gave in. During the last week of school, I did not want to attend classes. I want to remain at home. I felt tired and stressed, the year had caught up with me. I begged my mother. Nevertheless, my mom forced me to go the second to last day of school. That day we, a few accomplices and I, placed several smoke bombs in school. We were caught. The school suspended me the last day of school, got probation status in school, and my mother told me I was grounded me  the whole summer. Even though the punishment did not last the whole summer, it gave me enough time to think and analyze my situation. I was going into eight grade, one year before high school which what counts I thought, on probation. This meant that a minor fault could get me expelled. Changing became necessary.


During the vacation, I saw what happened throughout seventh grade. I realized how I could change my thoughts, words, actions, habits and character in matter of minute. I had an epiphany, just like I did before I could change my attitude, my character and actions as quick. I walked into a new school year with many new things. New teachers, including high school teachers for my high school classes, along with new classmate were one of those new things everything seemed somehow different.

However, Alejandro Viluce remained to be Alejandro Viluce, only with new goals. I spent my year trying to change habits. Blurting out, both correct answers and nonsense remained like reflexes along with many other disturbing behaviors. It proved to be a formidable task. Even today, I have problems trying to control my impulsive behavior along with my passive-aggressive behavior. Never the less my will and my thoughts prevailed.

Somehow when faced with the question who am I? I just do not have an answer. I do not know who I am at this moment. Being born in one country, being of certain age, and belonging to certain religion does not determine completely whom you are. One is left with the choice to determine their character through their thoughts.   

Now I am not rebellious kid anymore because I decided not to. I will never be able to change the fact that I was born in Panama, neither it is my desire. At this moment, I could simply be another rebellious, unruly, shortsighted Panamanian student. Or think there is something for me to do, think that there can be a better world and be a intelligent, prudent, creative Panamanian student. Determining your character and your self is matter of determination and thought